The Perfectionist's Paradox: Learning to Pass in an Exchange Program

  

     How much is enough when the goal is just to pass? Last week was my hardest week of studying since I arrived at ONU. I was deep in the books for the Principles of Social Media book test last Thursday and the Principles of Management first exam this Tuesday. Because I had to learn everything in English, it naturally took more time than studying in Korean. But here’s the interesting paradox: As an exchange student, I don’t technically have to study this hard.

    My home university, Hanyang University, has official procedures for credit transfer. Students must fulfill two main conditions: first, there must be a similar course curriculum at Hanyang, and second, we must earn at least 70 points (a grade of C) in the course here. The first condition was handled before I came, but the second was the issue. Unlike my home university, where almost every class is graded on a competitive curve, ONU uses absolute grading. This difference is supposed to reduce pressure. And honestly, 70 points feels relatively low compared to the fiercely competitive standards back in Korea. So, in theory, I should feel much less pressured to study than the full-time ONU students. 

    The real challenge, however, isn't the syllabus; it’s my personality. I have a major strength and weakness: I try my absolute best at everything. Whether it’s studying, cleaning, or even relationships, I feel this intense compulsion to "do it perfectly." If the maximum possible score is 100 points, I will put in 200 or 300 points worth of effort. This compulsive drive has caused me trouble since I was young. It led to a deep slump early in September. I felt like my English was far below my own standards, and the five-times-larger workload here was completely overwhelming. I remember crying by the lake near Affinity Village and then again when I called my mother back in Korea.

    My mother, who shares a similar driven personality, told me I needed to fix this obsessive nature and consciously distribute my limited energy better while living in the U.S. That advice somewhat helped with assignments, where I practiced reducing my effort level. But the exams were different because they required pure memorization! For my study style, I need to fully understand every concept before I can memorize it. That means putting in the full, all-out effort I was used to in Korea. Although I knew I wasn't following my mother's advice when preparing for the tests, the thought of going into an exam without perfect knowledge made me too anxious. It just proves that changing a lifelong habit is incredibly difficult, and I realize I need to practice smarter energy distribution in the weeks to come.

    This semester is proving to be less about academic content and more about managing my own perfectionist tendencies. While the initial anxiety about the tests was too strong to ignore, I am slowly learning to set boundaries for my effort. This exchange program is teaching me that sometimes, meeting the 70-point requirement is the real success, because it means I saved enough energy to enjoy the experience outside of the study room.